


Close Your Eyes (And Let Me Lead)

by Resmiranda



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Argentine Tango, Ballroom Dancing, Cameos by Tali and Jenkins, M/M, Mature for language and mild hot and heavy situations, Misunderstandings, Resolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 00:32:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15231453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resmiranda/pseuds/Resmiranda
Summary: “It’ll be fun!” Ashley had said.Kaidan wasn't so into the ballroom dancing, but he might be a little too into the instructor.





	Close Your Eyes (And Let Me Lead)

**Author's Note:**

> AKA ballroom dancing au no one asked for. I just really love ballroom dancing okay? And I thought it would be funny if Shepard had mad ballroom skills but still couldn't club dance without help. XD
> 
> Thanks to [potionsmaster](http://archiveofourown.org/users/potionsmaster/pseuds/potionsmaster) for the title assist!
> 
> Inspiration taken from the songs [Where The Lonely Ones Roam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJlv5zI5p2g) and [Ride](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5082NM1H-io) (this is the song I wrote the clubbing scene to).
> 
> Please let me know if you catch typos! This was self-beta'd and I always leave mistakes.

_“It’ll be fun!”_ Ashley had said.

After the twenty-third time he’d reset to go over the basic footwork—he’d kept track—Kaidan could officially state he was decidedly _not_ having fun.

It wasn’t so much the dance itself as the embarrassment of how slow he was to pick it up. He’d never danced outside of a club, and that was little more than finding a beat and rolling his hips. There was no footwork to get lost in, no changing tempo to keep track of… just the good old fashioned bump and grind.

Damn, was it really so bad he was glorifying _grinding?_

“Great job, everyone!” their instructor, John Shepard, spoke up. “That wraps up today’s class. Your homework is to practice that basic step. Don’t forget to keep contact with the floor.” Kaidan turned to Ashley, bewildered, but she wasn’t paying attention to him—only to their instructor who, Kaidan could admit, was very easy on the eyes, but seriously, when had he said _anything_ about keeping contact with the floor? “I’ll leave the music on for a little while, so feel free to practice.”

A hand on his arm pulled his attention back to Ashley.

“C’mon, let’s go again.”

Kaidan bit back a groan. “Really, Ash?”

“Quit whining, Lt. We’re finally starting to get it. We can’t quit now, or you’ll have forgotten it all again by next week.”

“Look, Ash,” Kaidan glanced around at all the remaining tango students and dropped his voice. “I don’t know if I want to come back next week.”

“Oh, no you don’t, Alenko. You’re not ditching me after one class. You can’t get a refund anyway, so you may as well get what you can out of it.”

“Great, I’m paying for sore feet and a bruised ego.” He allowed Ash to maneuver him back into a close hold. Or was it a closed hold? Shepard had called it something else, too. He couldn’t keep track of it all.

“Hey!” A sharp slap stung his arm. “Mind on me, Lt.”

Blowing out a sigh, Kaidan reluctantly began to sway back and forth, trying to connect with Ash before taking the first steps in the pattern. It was always the twist that went… “Oh!” Kaidan was so surprised that he simply stopped moving while Ash finished the pattern. Deep laughter drew his attention over to John, who was smiling at him.

“Finally had a breakthrough?”

Kaidan’s cheeks heated. “I think so?”

John rocked up out of his desk chair and walked over. “Just don’t forget to finish the pattern,” he winked, “then you can work on continuing the dance from there. And Ashley—” the second John’s eyes were off him, Kaidan tuned Shepard out and focused on getting his heart-rate under control. He was _not_ going to do this with his dance instructor. He didn’t even really like this kind of dancing. They’d never work out. Doomed to failure.

“See you next week?”

“Sure thing,” Kaidan replied automatically, giving John a smile.

He saw Ashley giving him The Look™ over Shepard’s shoulder.

Fuck.

* * *

“I guess I’ll be playing follow today.” A flash of white teeth and whiff of musky cologne had Kaidan’s knees going weak.

It was week three of tango class, Ashley had called in sick only _after_ he’d gotten to the studio, and Kaidan officially regretted ever agreeing to this.

“Guess so.”

John paused, “Unless you’re uncomfortable dancing with another man.”

Both of Kaidan’s eyebrows raised at that. “Oh, no. No, I’m bi,” he blurted. That raised Shepard’s eyebrows before he schooled his expression. “Sorry,” Kaidan continued to ramble. “I didn’t mean to just say that. I just didn’t want you to think—”

Bright laughter and a wave of a hand shut Kaidan up. “No, no, nothing to be sorry for. You honesty just surprised me is all. Alright. Go ahead and lead me through the basic.”

Kaidan held his breath as Shepard drew closer and waited for Kaidan to pick up his arm and hold his hand. He noted that John ran warm like him. Maybe he was a biotic, too? Kaidan began to rock side to side, trying to find the connection, just like John had taught them.

John jostled his arms a little. “Relax,” he murmured, kicking Kaidan’s heartbeat up a notch. “Keep your frame, but don’t lock up.”

“Right.” Kaidan had no idea what John meant by that, but tried to re-engage his muscles to do as he asked.

Back

Side

Forward

Forward

Twist her— _him_

Unlock

Over

Close

“Good.” John pulled back but didn’t let go of his hand. “Don’t forget to collect your feet.” He released his hand and demonstrated. “Try again.”

Kaidan did, and by the end of the lesson, he actually managed to do several sets in a row before misstepping and needing to reset. It was a small thing, but he was actually sort of proud of himself.

“See ya, Shepard!” he called on his way out the door.

“Oh, Kaidan!” Kaidan paused by the desk as John made his way over.

“I wanted to let you know, we have a Jack and Jack, Jill and Jill event this weekend, if you’re interested in same-sex dancing.”

“Oh,” Kaidan had no clue what kind of dancing that was supposed to be, but it might be interesting. Or at least maybe there’d be somebody interesting? Besides John. It was definitely not about John. “Yeah, maybe. When?”

“Saturday at seven, right here. It’s a ten dollar drop-in charge. You can even try your hand at following.” He winked. Kaidan flushed and edged towards the door.

“Ha! I don’t know about that, but I’ll see about dropping by. Have a good one.”

Shepard gave a little wave.

“You too, Kaidan.”

* * *

This was _definitely_ a mistake.

Three songs in, Kaidan had no idea what _any_ of the dances people were doing were, and while there seemed to be a few single people dancing, most of them appeared to be couples. Add that with his social awkwardness and lack of confidence, and this was truly one of his worse ideas.

“Dance?” Kaidan pulled himself out of his thoughts to see an offered hand right in front of his face. He followed it back up to John’s smiling visage.

“Uh, sure.” He hesitantly took John’s hand and let himself be led onto the floor.

“You’re going to follow.” He grinned.

Kaidan raised an eyebrow. “Oh I am, am I?”

“Mmhm,” Shepard nodded. He brought Kaidan into closed hold and began rock-stepping.

“Uh, and how does one do that?” Kaidan barely had a handle on leading one dance, and now he was supposed to reverse everything for a dance he probably didn’t know?

“Just move with me,” Shepard said like it was the simplest thing in the world. “Think of our connection like a stick or rope. You can compress or expand the connection, but there should always be some tension in the connection so you know where the other person is. Or,” he encouraged Kaidan closer, till he was pressed chest to chest with Shepard. Kaidan lost his footing, but Shepard's solid form kept him from straying too far. “You can dance more closely and keep the connection through the chest, which is where a good lead should be leading from, anyway.”

Shepard had _definitely_ never said that in class, but he couldn’t think about that for long because Shepard was walking and Kaidan’s entire brain narrowed down to trying to feel Shepard’s next step and not getting lost in his scent and heat and… _oh shit,_ John was spinning him…

He nearly collided with John’s chest, but a secure arm caught him around the back and John bent at the knees, slithering down. _That_ was something Kaidan understood. He followed the grind easily enough, but then they were moving again. _Forward, forward, forward, pause, back, back, back, rock-step through a circle, forward, forward, out..._

Shepard pulled to the left instead of the right turn Kaidan was expecting, leaving him scrambling to find his footing. “Sorry,” he murmured. He peered up into the blue of Shepard’s eyes, sheepish.

“Why?” Shepard asked lightly, still smiling, walking Kaidan around and spinning him back out.

Taken off guard, Kaidan had no immediate answer. “Are you in pain?” He looped Kaidan’s hand around his head and neck, then walked backwards, letting it sensually trail along his shoulder and all the way down his arm, until he could catch Kaidan’s fingers again.

“No…” Kaidan replied cautiously, feeling more than a little off-kilter in the face of Shepard’s easy refusal of his apology. Usually people said something like, ‘That’s okay,’ or ‘We’ll try it again,’ or, at least, that’s what he imagined they would say. Those were the kinds of things he said to his kids when training them in how to use their biotics.

“Then you’re not doing it wrong.” Shepard brought his arm up and, before Kaidan could even register what his feet were doing, found himself in the crook of Shepard's arm. Blue eyes glittered in the shifting lights, that sly smile that Kaidan felt all the way down to his groin back on his face.

It was hard to argue with Shepard’s logic, as much as it threw him.

They continued the rest of the dance in silence, but their conversation continued, and Kaidan was beginning to feel very, very confused. Was it normal to have this kind of reaction to dancing? He was going to need to get off the floor and out of here before it became the kind of problem he couldn’t hide.

 _Definitely_ a mistake.

* * *

“You did _what?_ ”

“ _Ash_ ,” Kaidan hissed, looking around at the other officers lingering in the lounge. “Can you keep your voice down please?”

“Kaidan Horace Alenko, no. Not after you tell me you voluntarily went ballroom dancing this weekend and only danced with John!”

Kaidan stared at her, bewildered. “What? My middle name is _not_ Horace. Where did you even get that? And I said I danced with John _once_ , and then left.”

“Please, like that little detail matters. I _knew_ you liked him!”

“ _Ashley!_ ” He was half out of his chair, ready to shush her physically.

“Alright, alright, don’t get your panties in a twist.” She relaxed in her chair and swirled the straw through her iced coffee. A moment later she bolted upright and slapped the table, nearly upsetting the cup. “We have to go tonight!”

Kaidan was not following. “Go where tonight?”

“The studio!” she enthused. “They have open dancing tonight at eight!”

“Ash, I have to work tomorrow.”

“Yeah, so? I do, too. C’mon, Lt, indulge me?”

Kaidan eyed her hard.

Her brown irises danced and wavered.

* * *

Kaidan never had been able to say no to Ashley.

This time, though. This time he _really_ regretted it.

John and his partner were _amazing_.

As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t take his eyes off them as they danced song after song together, hips rolling, noses bumping, slender legs twined around a solid torso. As much as the disappointment stung, he had to admit she was beautiful and they were gorgeous together.

Ash nudged his shoulder. “Sorry, Kaidan. The way he was acting… I didn’t think he had someone.”

Kaidan shrugged without taking his eyes off the couple, who were embracing at the end of a song.

“Oh, well.” He got up to leave.

“Kaidan!” Shepard had seen them and was on his way over. He offered Kaidan a hug and then gave one to Ashley. “Good to see you. Go ahead and grab a lead or follow. I’m going to do a mini-lesson in a minute—I’m going to make you two reverse roles.”

“ _What?_ ” they cried in unison.

Shepard just grinned.

* * *

While it wasn’t easy, Kaidan found that he actually kind of liked the follow role, and Ash, he had to admit, was a pretty damn good lead. She took to the Argentine tango _much_ faster than he had, anyway.

“Excellent, you two.” Kaidan stumbled at the sudden appearance of John, who sniggered. “This is why I shouldn’t say anything. It always seems to make people self-conscious.”

“Can’t imagine why, sir.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow. Kaidan could feel Ashley’s eyes on him. He rubbed the heating skin on the back of his neck.

“Heh. Uh, wow, I don’t know where that came from. Guess something about your demeanor reminded me of a superior officer.” John smiled slightly.

“Well, I was enlisted once upon a time, but that was about six years ago now.”

“Wait, really?”

Shepard’s smile grew. “Yeah. Made it to Lieutenant Commander before I got out.”

“You don’t say. Hey, you wouldn’t happen to be in a biotics classification, would you?”

“I would.” John offered an open palm, which Kaidan quickly accepted, feeling a little giddy. He tried to quash the feeling as Shepard began swaying with him. “Adept. And you?”

“Sentinel. Wait, how—” John’s feet began to move and Kaidan had to throw all his attention to the unfamiliar twisting steps of the follow. “How did you know I was a biotic?”

John tapped low on the back of his own neck. “Implant scar.”

“Ah.” Shepard was observant. Most people didn’t pick up on that.

A moment passed and John drew him closer. Kaidan nearly jolted when John’s smooth cheek came to rest against his own. His skin was soft, the cologne sweet. Kaidan was starting to feel dizzy, and it wasn’t from the slow circles John was maneuvering him in.

Shepard pulled back so there was space between them again, guiding him into outside partner and driving him back, back, into the cross, back, over, and back to his breast, heat radiating off of him. A firm arm wrapped around his back and a hand on his shoulder told him something was up, and a second later he found himself maneuvered into a kind of swinging dip.

As he righted himself, one of John’s hands traced tenderly across his forehead and down his cheek. Kaidan’s brain stopped for a second and his universe dropped down to a pair of piercing blue eyes.

They didn’t waver, but Kaidan knew time was passing from the way the lights bounced around his pupils, so large in the dim of the room. Shepard’s hand was still on his skin. Kaidan couldn’t hear anything over the sound of his own heart.

“Kaidan that was awesome!”

Startling himself out of John’s hold, bemused and now embarrassed, Kaidan turned to look at Ash.

“She’s right; that was awesome,” Shepard chimed in, flashing his white teeth.

“I don’t even know what I just did.”

“That’s okay.”

“Hey, Shepard.” Kaidan froze. Ashley had a look about her that told him she was definitely up to something. “Kaidan and I were going to go to Chora’s den this Saturday night,” Kaidan lowkey glared lasers into her, but she pointedly ignored him, “Could you get word out to the regulars? We thought it would be fun to go with a group from the studio.”

Kaidan was going to murder her.

“Yeah, sure that sounds like fun.”

Ashley beamed at John, but Kaidan _knew_ that it was directed at him.

* * *

Kaidan was definitely not going to murder Ashley.

Hell, for the sight of John in those skin-tight black jeans, he’d consider building a shrine to her.

Said man caught sight of him and waved. Kaidan pulled out the chair next to him, and Shepard gratefully took the seat.

“Hey, Shep.”

“Hey,” he grinned. “Tali and Rich are on their way. Anyone else here?”

“Uh, yeah,” Kaidan twisted around to look at the writhing bodies on the dance floor. “I got stuck on bag duty,” he chuckled.

John nodded at the dance floor. “If you want to go dance, I can take over. This isn’t really my kind of dancing.”

Kaidan raised an eyebrow. “This isn’t your kind of dancing,” he parroted flatly.

Throwing a glance at those on the floor, John laughed a little. “Nope.”

"But... You—you..." Kaidan sputtered.

"Grind?" Shepard offered matter-of-factly, without a lick of shame.

"Yes!"

Shepard chuckled, and Kaidan felt his cheeks flame. He felt like a joke was being had at his expense, but he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what he was missing.

A warm hand on his shoulder drew him back into the moment. A gentle smile replaced the smirk that had been on Shepard's lips moments before.

"It's different when it's ballroom." He scratched at the back of his head, blue eyes wandering somewhere over Kaidan's shoulder.

 _Good_. _Let him feel sheepish for a change,_ was what Kaidan thought. But instead of verbalizing his vengefulness, he leaned into his curiosity. "How so?"

Shepard's cheeks were a healthy shade of pink now, which confused Kaidan as much as it satisfied him.

"With ballroom there are... parameters. Rules of engagement." He dared to meet Kaidan's eyes for a moment before continuing to talk to the far wall. Kaidan was starting to understand what Shepard's issue was. "You have set patterns of footwork and grinding isn't acceptable in every dance. It's a performance. It's also not... the entire dance."

Shepard's cheeks were brilliant now and it was Kaidan's turn to chuckle. Something fluttered in his stomach. He stomped down on it. _Taken_. He reminded himself.

"You're a hardass," he summarized.

Shepard gaped at him.

Panic hit like a biotic throw to the chest and he quickly backtracked.

"I-I just meant you like to follow the rules. You're former Alliance, so I get it. I mean it makes sense. Not that you're inflexible or not fun or something. I have a lot of fun with you. You're—" Kaidan's brain caught up with his mouth and he promptly stopped speaking. _Shit, Alenko, just open up and put your foot in your mouth._

Shepard had one eyebrow raised for most of the duration of that shitstorm of words, and in his panic, Kaidan had failed to notice the tiny upturn at the corner of his lips.

Kaidan felt like his heart was lodged in his throat as he waited for Shepard to say something.

"I have fun with you, too, Kaidan."

The bottom dropped out from Kaidan's stomach and he blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Are you flirting with me?"

_Shit._

Kaidan stood up, not wanting to see the reaction to that one.

"Never mind. Just let me—"

A familiar warmth gripped his forearm, gently encouraging him back down.

Kaidan bit his lips to keep himself from saying another word. He couldn't meet John's eyes.

“Hey, where are you going?” John’s voice was warm and soothing, and paired with those deep blue eyes, a heaviness dropped in his gut. His knees weakened and he let himself drop back into his chair.

“Hey guys!”

The warmth wrapped around his arm vanished and slowly Kaidan managed to recognize that there were other people in the world beyond John Shepard. People he knew and should greet and were not tantalizing and unavailable.

“Tali!”

Ash appeared out of nowhere to embrace her friend.

“Wanna dance?”

Surprised, Kaidan turned to Shepard. He shook his head a little, trying to shake the sluggish thinking that had him feeling like he was one step behind.

“Dance?”

“Yeah.” John stood up and offered his hand. Kaidan stayed put and eyed it suspiciously. “Didn’t you just say you didn’t do this kind of dancing?”

“I’ll let you lead this time.” He winked.

Kaidan was so, so confused.

He also found that in this moment, he was feeling pretty selfish.

He took John’s hand and let him onto the floor just as the song changed over. A slow, heavy beat filled the room. He pulled Shepard just far enough into the crowd that they wouldn’t be immediately visible from their table and pulled him closer by the hips. Shepard's stray hand swept across his ass. Kaidan's breath caught, but he didn't lose the rhythm. He stay connected.

A percussive swell signaled the chorus and Kaidan moved, holding Shepard to him, moving against him, eyes burning into him as he nudged a knee between his legs and ground down. Shepard’s eyes dilated and his lips parted.

Kaidan was _not_ prepared for that. He used his grip on his hips to spin him around and press him back against him. Shepard rolled his ass into Kaidan’s groin and reached around him with one arm to hold himself to Kaidan.

The chorus kicked in again. The heat was sweltering; he could barely breathe; sweat was starting to trickle from his temples, but he hadn’t felt like this in such a long time... He found he couldn’t stop his hands from wandering, running down John’s thighs, and then Shepard’s hands were covering his own, pushing them down against his body harder, encouraging them to massage in toward his groin. _Oh, fuck_. He was definitely hard. Kaidan pressed closer, lips trailing along Shepard’s neck and he _felt_ his breath catch and the shudder that ran down his spine.

The beat fell away, but Kaidan was still gripping John, and with the intrusively loud bass of the next song, what felt like a bucket of ice washed over his head and he released John like a hot potato.

Momentarily frozen by his horror, John had the chance to turn around, questioning gaze turned concerned when he caught sight of Kaidan’s face.

He _fled_.

* * *

_What the fuck was I thinking?_

Kaidan was halfway across the parking lot when he realized Ash was the one who had driven them there and she had the keys.

What was a thirty block walk at 10:30, anyway? He could always jog it. He’d been getting a bit lazy with his running lately.

“Kaidan, wait!”

Swallowing hard, he fought the instinct to take off again and allowed John to catch up with him, waiting till the last moment to finally face him.

John’s brow was furrowed, some mix of hurt and concern pinching his features. Kaidan took a deep breath and forced himself to hold eye contact.

“Kaidan, what—”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Instead of John’s usual easy dismissal, this time he seemed truly perplexed.

“For…” he dredged his brain but couldn’t come up with a politer word, “groping you like that when you have a girlfriend.”

John’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his skull. “A _what?”_ He shook his head violently. “Kaidan, I’m gay.”

“ _What?”_

They both stared at each other in disbelief, then burst out laughing. Kaidan was crying by the time they stopped.

“I thought—” He wiped a tear away, gasping. “I thought you and that woman you dance multiple songs in a row with was your girlfriend.”

“ _Jane_?” Shepard’s lips turned down in distaste, then he schooled himself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. She’s a beautiful woman, and a fantastic dancer—she’s actually a pro—but her kind of excellence is not, _my_ kind of excellence, if you know what I mean.”

Kaidan’s mind was reeling.

“So wait. Then… in there…”

“I was coming onto you.”

Kaidan gaped and flushed and felt his heart do a summersault.

“You were.”

John risked stepping a little closer.

“I was.” He looked Kaidan up and down. “And, unless I’m really misreading things here…” He snaked his fingers through Kaidan’s belt loops and tugged. Only enough pressure to be a suggestion, one that Kaidan was more than willing to follow. He lifted one hand to cup Shepard’s face.

Their lips crashed together, hungry, wild, but connected. A conversation, not a battle.

Shepard grabbed his ass.

“ _Mm!”_

John swallowed Kaidan’s sounds a moment, then pulled back with a sharp gasp.

He licked his lips.

Kaidan ducked down and stole one more taste.

John laughed. “Damn. I forgive you for thinking Jane was my girlfriend.”

A shy smiled pulled at Kaidan’s mouth.

“Hey, do you want to go for a walk?”

John flashed that grin Kaidan was beginning to adore at him.

“I’d love to.”

* * *

Ash 10:58PM: Kaidan where tf did you go?

Ash 10:58PM: Wait where did Shepard go?

Ash 10:59PM: Omg are you with him??

Ash 11:23PM: Kaidan ru ok???

Ash 11:26PM: I stg if you’re bleeding out in an alley rn I’ll finish the job

* * *

Kaidan 8:05AM: *1 attachment*

                          :)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Fyi this is my favorite Argentine tango: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6-6kN79oIA
> 
> It's definitely not strictly syllabus, but still very recognizably Argentine and GORGEOUS. Comments always welcome; especially if you want to just gush ME or ballroom with me. XD


End file.
